First there was this offense last spring:
“Assigning a point value to immigrants will keep us from becoming a ’safety country.’ This is America, Jon. Not Wesleyan.”
And then, last night:
“What barista school did this guy do to? Wesleyan?”
OK, what’s up with your hate, o hating writer? Did some Wesleyan dude sleep with your boyfriend?
My beloved, beleaguered, bedraggled Dolphins released Zach Thomas yesterday.
The team is purging salaries now, which is really the only possible direction following its dismal, hopeless 1-15 showing.
But saying farewell to Zach is devastating. Over his 12 years with the team, Zach did his business with excellence — stuffing egomaniacal running backs, picking off ill-advised passes, turning tight end receptions into incompletes, and basically taking away the middle of the field. He made every player around him better. He never went for the big hit or the big ad campaign, never got arrested in a nightclub, never said a discouraging word. He just racked up Pro Bowls (seven of them) and screwed up the plans of the league’s offensive coordinators.
He may end up with another team in 2008, but his Hall of Fame bust will say Miami. Zach, don’t go!
I would like to thank all my family and friends who have called or emailed with their concerns for my family’s employment. Special thanks to those who offered money. That means a lot.
So here’s the full story, so that we can lay all the fear to rest:
Yes, two weeks ago Yahoo announced that they’re “reassigning” (laying off) about 1,000 people. I’m most likely not one of them. Yahoo’s taken a lot of heat from the Street for its employment expansion over the past 3-4 years, and we do indeed have our dirty mitts in many different businesses. But the bulk of those businesses are really the same business — generating page views to sell ads against them.
Yahoo has core assets that generate revenue from ads or fees — Front Page, My, Sports, News, Finance, Mail, and Messenger, for example, are tops in their categories and are considered core to Yahoo. Other properties are non-core but still earn great revenue for us. People in key roles in those lines of business are most likely still going to be working for Yahoo next month.
Now this may shock you, but stay with me: Yahoo makes a lot of money. Almost $2B in operating profit last year, to be a little more specific, with profit margins in the high 30%s. But Google makes amazing margins in search marketing, and they’re eating our lunch.
So along comes Microsoft. And so come the calls and emails with concern for Annette’s and my jobs. Thanks for your concern; don’t worry about us. The deal would take a year to close, integration would take more years, and anyone with half a brain will tell you that MSFT’s $45B is for the Yahoo audience and brand equity. Translation: Yahoo won’t become MSN. Yahoo Mail won’t become Hotmail. And our jobs should be safe for a while.
But again, we appreciate all the warm wishes. Bless y’all.