Free Rise

Paying a celebrity to endorse your product is the easiest way to blow your marketing spend for the year.

Getting a celebrity to endorse your product for free, however, is a coup, which is why God created the celebrity goodie bag.

But what happens when a rock-stupid porn star decides to tell the world that your family-oriented, middle American brand really warms her gooey bosoms? If you’re the Olive Garden, you awkwardly try to change the subject.

From the WSJ:
When You’re Here, You’re Family — But What About a Playboy Model?
Olive Garden Has Mixed Feelings About Its Biggest Celebrity Fan

Kendra Wilkinson, a Playboy cover model, television star and one of Hugh Hefner’s three live-in girlfriends, professes deep love for the Olive Garden Italian restaurant chain.

The feeling isn’t mutual.

To the consternation of Olive Garden’s marketers, who have spent millions crafting the franchise’s family-friendly image, the 23-year-old adult-entertainment star and aspiring real-estate mogul repeatedly uses her spotlight to rave about its midprice eateries. Ms. Wilkinson hoists Olive Garden doggie bags in the air and extols its chicken parmigiana. She once scandalized European diners by declaring the Olive Garden preferable to any restaurants in Italy.

Ms. Wilkinson, whose tan skin and blonde-white hair project classic California, isn’t on the payroll. She is a rogue brand ambassador: a celebrity who is genuinely, publicly devoted to a product or service, even if he or she doesn’t quite embody the values that the brand’s managers may be trying to convey.

Executives at Olive Garden declined to discuss the uninvited spokesmodel. One official says the company has tried to walk a fine line with its response, maintaining the chain’s wholesome image without alienating potential customers. “I don’t feel comfortable talking about this…because it is a complicated issue for the brand,” says Michele Kay, executive vice president of WPP Group’s Grey advertising firm.

If I were running the Olive Garden account, I’d probably hook up Kendra with free never-ending pasta bowls for life. Or if not for life, at least until those never-ending pasta bowls made her look her look too human for Hef.

The San Diego native says she made frequent trips to the restaurant during her childhood, developing a taste for the artichoke dip and the all-you-can-eat salad and breadsticks. She calls it “my soul food.”

“I love the Olive Garden so much because I grew up going there,” she says. “That used to be the place we would go for Mother’s Day, for birthdays. My grandpa just died, and right after his funeral, we went to the Olive Garden.”

It doesn’t matter whether that’s a quote from Lindsay Lohan or Madeline Albright — that’s a powerfully emotional connection to a brand. It almost makes me want to eat their factory-farmed super-chicken with artery-blocker triple-cream and cheez sauce.

Almost.